I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
