haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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