I wish I could teleport
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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