So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
