Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
