Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
