So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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