if you like me you must not know who I am
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
