dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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