I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
