did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
