We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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