4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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