This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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