About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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