hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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