Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
