I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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