am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
