yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Randomize
