I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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