I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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