i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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