Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
