my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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