I'm going to jail i love you
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize