i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
