Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
