The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
