69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You ruined the universe
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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