In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
