you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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