All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize