He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
God I need to hump something, right now.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize