Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
