Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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