It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
