my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
