This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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