i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
