Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
