i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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