Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
