I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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