yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
