The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
