he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
