That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
