you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
