Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
