How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
