fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just want to make out with him forever
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
