and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
