Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
