Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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