Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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