I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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