if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
ttyl tear gas
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My vagina is very pro this idea
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
