white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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