he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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