she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
