ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
